fredred (fredred) wrote in yoursexstory,

Fred and Jane

I thought some of you would like this little snippet from my most recent journal entry. Its funny more than anything else. It's friends only, so if you want to see what proceeded and followed this, just add me, and I'll add back. Make sure you comment somewhere so I get the point that you added me.
Now, Jane's mouth, however talented it is, almost got us into a whole lot of trouble. We are in the City, and that means your neighbor is not always never interested in what is going on in your life, and doesn't want to know anything about it. To put it lightly, Jane is amazingly loud during sex. Unfortunately, try as she might she can't control her volume. I don't begrudge her for that, but my neighbor certainly did. So this neighbor (who by the way is a friend of both Jane and I) happens to be a woman who looks like she couldn't hurt a fly, 4'11" and cute as a button. She has the mouth of a sailor. A really drunk, perverted, sailor. This exchange ensued:
:: Neighbor knocks loudly against the wall::
Neighbor: Fred, Jane, you two motherfucking assholes, stop with your fucking. I know you can fucking hear me. I fucking wish to have some quiet, and if the two of you you don't separate your cock and you c**t right now, I shall fucking proceed to go in there and do so manually, with a fucking rusty butterknife.
:: Now the two of us are just stuck in the position we were in like a pair of deer in a set of headlights. After about ten seconds, I speak up::
Me: Do you mean like this? ::slams into Jane::
Jane (feigning intense pleasure): Oh Fred. Your dick is so big.
Neighbor (exact quote): Jane, I do not fucking care if Fred is fucking hung like a fucking elephant, though fucking motherfucking fucking elephants would explain the fucking noise you two make when fucking.

xposted, a bit.
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